Where Am I & Some Self Discovery

So it’s been 10 days since I’ve last posted and you’re probably wondering where I’ve been. If you’re not wondering, well, you’ll find out anyway.

The last week and a half have been a little crazy for me. My parents came to visit me for the weekend, which was incredibly fun but also pretty tiring. My mom and I went to a spiritual workshop on Curanderismo, which was not only unbelievably incredible but also life changing. If you’re into this type of stuff, definitely look into it and see what’s available near you. I figured I had to share this because of the impact this single day had on my life.

Anyway, after our weekend adventures of spiritual workshops, outdoor activities, and lots of food, it was time to drop them off at LAX and get my life back in order. You know that feeling? That feeling when you’ve been running around non-stop and simply want a moment to sit? That’s how I felt. So, that Sunday night I relaxed and read a new book I recently picked up called “The Power of Love” by Osho. I recently discovered Osho, and let me tell you, I am already in love. He’s a philosopher, mystic, spiritual guru and an overall fascinating man. His thought, concepts and ideas about life, our consciousness and this universe are eye opening, inspiring and 100% awesome. I highly recommend you look him up on Amazon and read one of his books that speaks to you.

The past seven days I’ve been cleaning up my apartment, filming and running errands. I had to get so much in order that I barely had time to sleep, nevertheless blog. No worries, I’m back and better than before.

I’ve discovered a few things lately that I wanted to talk about. First being the importance of meditation. Every week I go to Kundalini Yoga (which is incredible btw) and it contains a 10 minute meditation at the end. This class makes me feel so alive, so blissful and so unbelievably happy I cannot even begin to put it into words. It makes me feel like, well, me. I feel as though at the core of our beings we are filled with unconditional love, compassion and well-being. Yet, due toย so many distractions and conditionings in our society we begin to stray away from these core components. Hatred, competitiveness and brainwashing media is everywhere. These things are all distractions. We’re taught to be the best, be #1 and hate anyone who gets in the way of that. Whether that be in school, work or simply life status, these beliefs are often ingrained in us from a young age.

When we begin to step away from this programming we begin to realize who we truly are. Osho once said, “There is no greater ecstasy than knowing who you are”. This quote resonates with me on such a deep level. Being around the same types of people throughout our childhood almost forces us to be the same. Look around middle schools and even high schools. So many kids try to re-create the same look, style and even persona to fit in. Yet, we are all so different. Once we start toย follow our hearts and do the things that make our souls light up, we see who we truly are. Throughout this past year I have become more of myself than I have ever been. I started doing what I wanted in all aspects of my life. I started following my heart and soul in what made me happy, and it has guided me to the most incredible people, places and opportunities.

So I guess where I was going with this was….don’t worry if you feel different. Thank gosh you do! I never felt like I fit in throughout my childhood. I felt as though I was special. I had something different to offer, and I sure as hell was not going to do something just because everyone else was doing it. Look where I am now. Creating my reality based on my beliefs, my passions and my inspirations. If you’re ever feeling like nothing others are doing around you resonates with you, smile. Smile because you’re different. Start creating. Start creating or doing what feels good and right to you. Look at some of the biggest businesses and their creators. SO many of these people started their own thing. They did so because the “normal” things to do weren’t interesting to them. Think about it. How can you start something different or be something different if all you do is follow the actions of those around you? You can’t. The only way to be something unique is to do something unique. So, whatever that is, whatever makes your heart feel full and your eyes glow, go do it.

I’ll see you soon, you passionate creator.



12 thoughts on “Where Am I & Some Self Discovery

  1. I’ve been checking your blog every day just to hopefully see a post. I’m glad you’re back at it! I love reading your posts, every sentence makes my wheels turn. You’re so intelligent and you’re definitely a role model. Keep it up! ๐Ÿ˜Œ

  2. Thank you for all of the love and kindness you give off to the world. Thank you for sharing your journey and inspiring everyone around you to grow and aspire to be the best you that you can be.
    I have watched your videos for years now. I remember finding your channel and seeing that you lived near Chicago (like I do) and were the same age as I am! I felt so connected to you and have looked up to you ever since. I just wanted you to know how appreciated you are by everyone around you.

    Also, I have read a lot of the books you’ve recommended in the past and I think it would be cool if you made a video about your favorite books? Just a suggestion โค๏ธ

    Wish you well.

  3. I’ve been watching your vlogs on YT for some time now and I really love them. Your blogs show another side of you, you write very beautifully and your posts are really nice to read. I love the line ‘behind the blowouts’ under your blog title!! It really made me laugh ๐Ÿ™‚

    You mentioned in one vlog that you studied some days non-stop right before your finals, everytime I need to study I think about that moment and it motivates me. You inspire and motivate a lot of people, you’re really doing a good job. I really look forward to seeing more vlogs and reading more blog posts.

    Sofie, Belgium

  4. This is a great post. Thank you for being so open with us. I would love if you talked more about spiritual things, crystals, and your astrology knowledge.

  5. Thanks girl I loved this post! I have been having the same kind of thoughts as you over the past few months. Making the changes to me me feel happy are so worth it ๐Ÿ’—๐Ÿ’— .I posted a few days ago a quote which I think you would agree with as well ” let’s do what we love and do a lot of it”๐Ÿค—. (IG: kra_xoxo)

    Can’t wait to hear more,

    K ๐Ÿ’—

  6. YES Polina! I have read so many blogs throughout my life and I can honestly say that I am so impressed with you and your writing. Your writing style is very interesting and engaging to read. It is clear you have a talent for it! This specific post really spoke to me too. I always feel very unsatisfied doing what society says is normal and in return I feel out of place. But this post reminded me that this is a GOOD thing and that being different will bring me the most happiness. Thank you and I can’t wait to keep reading!

    xo Alyssa

  7. I donโ€™t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was great. I don’t know who you are but certainly you are going to a famous blogger if you are not already ๐Ÿ˜‰ Cheers!

  8. P,

    Please continue using this blog as a medium to spread positive energy to your followers. My favorite quote from this post was where you wrote, “How can you start something different or be something different if all you do is follow the actions of those around you?” I find myself in a constant battle of following those around me even though I constantly crave better for myself and those around me. This post helped me.


  9. Hey Polina!! I am reading your blog for the first time and I am so unbelievably impressed/surprised by your thoughts. You have such great insight in to things that go through everyones mind, and you have this amazing way of putting these feelings and thoughts to words that everyone can understand and relate to, including myself.

    I am curious, however, because I feel as though you are so insightful, spiritual, and in touch with yourself, and yet, you also seem very materialistic. It seems like you want to have a certain “image” on social media. You say, ” So many kids try to re-create the same look, style and even persona to fit in,” which I completely agree with, but I feel like in your blog you say this, but on your instagram you are that person who is trying to re-create a certain look. I get mixed-messages from you: your deep, interpersonal side, and your artificial, designer handbag, “perfect insta-feed” side.

    This is in no way trying to hate whatsoever, I am genuinely curious to hear your reasoning and what you think because in some ways I feel like I am receiving two different messages from you.

    Regardless, lots of love Polina, I’ve been watching you for forever ๐Ÿ™‚ I would love if you responded so I could hear your point of view <3

  10. I feel as if you’re someone I deeply connect with and I have never even met you. No one around me thinks as spiritually as you do, everyone is the same, and I’ve always felt I needed to conform into something or someone different to be somebody and you have showed me that to be somebody you need to be your own body. You truly do inspire me. You are someone who is my age, you are following your dreams, connecting with your inner spirit and that’s just something I have been looking for but have never been able to find. Reading your blog posts redirect my thought after a bad day and you inspire me to walk my own path. I truly thank you. I do hope I get to meet you one day and be atleast HALF of the person you are because u are truly an outstanding individual whom I look up to.

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