I’m having an ok time

Hello and happy Tuesday!

Today I had a weird day and wanted to come on here and just talk it out with you guys. I mean, after all we did basically agree to be each other’s BFF’s.

My day started off great. I had my favorite coffee with coconut creamer, did my makeup flawlessly and got hundreds of kisses from my kitten, Coco. I then headed off to a hair appointment to lighten and tone my hair. I was super excited, because who doesn’t love getting their hair done?! I had a phone call I was expecting while I was there for an opportunity I was super excited about. I love doing new and fun things (duh) and am always looking for fresh starts and new occasions. Anyways, I was having the time of my life with my favorite hairdresser (we’ll call her K). Eating my Backyard Bowls “Berry Bowl” and singing along to Justin Bieber’s new song, “Cold Water”, was a Tuesday well spent in my book….at least so far. I was waiting for a phone call, anxious as usual (idk why I have a random fear of phone calls), and it finally came. Basically, the news wasn’t great and I didn’t get the opportunity I had been set on for a few weeks.

Instantly I felt so hurt. I felt out of control, defeated, almost. This was such a strange feeling for me. I always aim to be positive, full of love and gratitude for this Universe and everything/everyone around me. I remind myself daily that divine timing is always perfect, and that everything happens for a reason. I remind myself that I AM a conscious creator and my thoughts manifest into reality. Yet, I couldn’t accept that this wasn’t the right opportunity for me. My heart hurt and it felt as though a beautiful sunny day inside my mind had turned into a dark storm.

Feeling like you did everything you could and still not getting what you want sucks. We can all admit this. However, I came home, made myself dinner and then meditated. After meditation I felt much clearer. I reminded myself that I did everything I could, and that I am not as powerful as this Universe so I cannot control much more than myself. I reminded myself that I am strong and powerful…but I also reminded myself that I am peaceful. I realized that I held positive thoughts, did all that I could do and the rest wasn’t up to me. I realized that this opportunity wasn’t for me. It wasn’t right for me, my path and my life, as much as I believed it was.

This Universe is huge. It is so much greater than anything we can ever even fathom. We are specks of cosmic dust. Although we have the power to consciously create, the rest is up to something greater. My yoga teacher always says “waheguru”, which basically means “whatever”, or letting the Universe know that we let go of our worries and control because although we are powerful, we are not the only power in this cosmic realm.

The lesson here is: if you don’t get something/something doesn’t go as planned (even though you worked SO hard and did EVERYTHING you possibly could), don’t worry. Let go. Let go of the anger. Let go of the frustration. Let go of the feeling that you’re not good enough. You’re not only “good enough”, you’re a piece of this beautiful Universe, a sparkling piece of stardust. Don’t ever tell me that the beautiful piece of energy, love and compassion (that is YOU) is not good enough. Whatever it was that you wanted so bad clearly did not have a place in your life. It did not serve your highest good and was not there for a reason.

Our whole life is a series of choices. Every single choice (no matter how big or small) has brought me to this exact moment today. Same goes for you. Every single choice you have made has brought you here to this moment, reading this blog and this post. It’s magical when you think about it.

So, if your thoughts are positive and you’re focusing on what you want in life and something doesn’t work out, don’t worry. It didn’t belong there in the first place. I know I’ll look back at this moment in a few months and laugh. I’ll laugh at how upset I was and that I almost cried into my acai bowl. I’ll laugh because for a second I didn’t trust divine timing and my own power. I’ll laugh because life’s too short not to laugh, even if your strawberries are soaking in tears.

You’re incredible. You’re magical. You’re powerful. To be completely honest, your life is too precious to be upset. Don’t let one thing/person/place or moment turn into a spiral of sadness /doubt or negativity. Let go. The Earth will still spin and the Sun will still rise, and your life will continue full of happiness, opportunity and success.

Smile. Smile because the Sun loves you. Smile because the moon loves you. Fuck it, smile because I love you.



22 thoughts on “I’m having an ok time

  1. This was so inspiring, keep writing girl! Also checkout “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle if you haven’t already read it; it resonates with so many of the beliefs you share here. Love you!

  2. Girl, I really really love these posts! This one inspired me so much, and made me want to write even if it’s just for myself. Thank you for being you, and please keep up these posts!!

  3. Hey girl, loving the blog posts. Just wanted to say that Waheguru means “wonderful lord” as it is taken from the Sikh Holy Book, the Sri Guru Granth Sahib.

  4. This was just want I needed right now! Over the past year their were opportunities that I really wanted but didn’t get and I definitely beat myself up about it but this definitely opened my eyes and realized the timing wasn’t right. Love you!!

  5. Polina,

    I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post today. I understand why that situation would make you upset, but it’s sooo incredible that you realized how you were feeling and took action to make it a positive experience instead, something you can grow from. It’s truly amazing that you have such a positive and light-hearted attitude about things and you take on every experience in a way that will keep your crown from falling. You inspire me, you really do. I’ve been watching you since you were in that room with pink walls and your cat would pop up every now and then. And since then you’ve grown so much. Of course you have though, that was years ago. But, I want you to know that you’ve grown into such a bright, positive, glowing, happy, beautiful, selfless and kind human being. I respect you so much and I can honestly say you’ve helped to shape a piece of who I am too. You have a unique and brilliant point of view on life and I can only imagine what amazing things you’ll do with your life. Even though this opportunity didn’t work out in your favor, it’s because the universe has made a different and better plan for you. Amazing post, I look forward to reading more.

    Much love,

  6. Wow, I am truly speechless at how much this connects to me and my life right now. I’ve been feeling so defeated because of a really hard class I took and ended up failing and I had tried everything I possibly could to pass it but just wasn’t enough. I love reading your blog posts because you speak such positivity and enlighten my day and thoughts and I hope you know how much good you’re doing by opening up in this way, I simply love it!
    I’d love to know which meditations you do because I’ve been looking into it quite a lot and I’m trying to incorporate it into my every day life. Love you and your posts hope you never stop 🙂 xo

  7. This is so amazing! You inspire me to be positive and always look for new opportunities in my life. Spread the love girl xoxo

  8. “Let go. The Earth will still spin and the Sun will still rise, and your life will continue full of happiness, opportunity and success.”

    Honestly one of the best pieces of advice I have ever heard. Loving this blog Polina!

  9. Wow, this post actually made me tear up a little..just the words i needed to read right now. Thank you for writing them. I’ve been dealing with continued feelings of self doubt for a while now and have let this stop me from taking oppertunities and doing things to the best of my abiliy in case i fail. You’ve reminded me to believe in myself and this amazing universe and allow things to fall into place as they should. I look forward to your next post! Xx

  10. Needed to hear these words more than anything right now… it’s crazy how I decided to catch up with your blog and ended up relating to this post so deeply that it actually helped to change my mindset and start my morning with a new positive outlook. I absolutely love how you see this world and the positivity that you put into it. It really helped me today, thank you so much.

  11. This post was super inspiring, and it made me look life in a different type of lens, i want to read more, post more please Polina! Your writing skills are AMAZING!

  12. Polina , I cannot even explain the timing you just had on my heart. Yesterday my boyfriend / father of my daughter and I ended our relationship of 5 years. She is about to turn 2, and there is no animosity but it still hurts. Your post gave me hope and motivation in today, to remember I am enough . Thank you for that. Your loyal friend always — Simone.

  13. your writing is so amazing, inspiring and uplifting!!I check back everyday to see if you posted. just wanted to let you know that waheguru comes from sikhism and it does not mean “whatever”. Loved this blog post thoo

  14. I love reading your posts. I come from a very small town where everyone thinks a like and everyone just seems to follow this boring pathway. I’ve always felt left out because I view everything so differently and I’m overall a positive judgement free person. Traits that my tiny little town frowns upon. It’s been really hard for me to make friends who are similar to me. It’s really nice to read your posts and to know that someone has the same thought process and is as spiritual as I am. You’ve truly made a difference in my life. ~namaste

  15. Amazing polina, I’ve been a fan of yours since I was a sophomore in high school, (im going to my first year of college now) but this post was so inspiring i just wanted to thank you and please continue it really gave me a better understanding on why so
    Much of the things I want in my life don’t happen or go as planned, your amazing keep your head up 💖

  16. This post really helped me.. I deal with anxiety and depression, and sometimes I have no energy to tell myself to just let go. Obviously it’s harder than it seems but thank you for your advice. xoxo

  17. i love this, it seriously made me feel so good. you are so inspirational, i’m always anxious, worried and always try to be the best, even if i cant, then get so disappointed and am always so upset, thank you so much for sharing, i hope you know what a blessing your writing is to people, keep it up, love you.

  18. Polina,

    I have been watching your videos for the longest time. You inspire me everyday and have helped me create a new, positive, perspective on life. Thank you for being the person that you are and sharing this personal side of yourself because it really does help us feel like we are not alone.

    All my love, XO

  19. wow this post was awesome! you’re so influential and really help me think so positive and constantly want to try new things in life. I also started mediation & it’s so amazing. Would you ever consider life coaching or being a mentor?

  20. Those affirmations honestly made me tear up. But its so TRUE. The sun WILL still rise, and your life will continue full of happiness, opportunity and success. I’m a pre-med and once ive made the decision to do so, i’ve been constantly scared i would fail. A nagging voice in my head has always been there whispering i cant do it, ill never amount to be good enough. I got a B in chem 2 and i literally bawled my eyes out (i was two points away on my final from getting an A), i questioned myself and wither i was good enough. Sounds dramatic but it really isn’t, the entire field is built upon competition and that competition starts now, with your peers whether you like it or not. I’ve been watching your vids since 8th grade and iv’e literally grown up with you. Its so awesome to see you transform into such a positive and spiritual being. Your words on the topic help a lot. Especially about the universe and i’m SO glad you have this, its such a way to connect. I guess what im saying is that your positive words really help me, I absorb all of it, and your outlook on life is so inspiring.
    Thank You, for being you, being positive and sharing more with your self on this site.

    ALSO i would love to know your favorite books on spirituality and the law of attraction, maybe you could do a video? And discuss why you think they are so helpful.

    Love you girl!

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