It’s Sunday night. Well, honestly, it’s more like Monday morning. I had so many thoughts today, so many ideas and realizations, so many that the only way I could share them was through my screen.
Do you ever realize certain people aren’t who you think they are? You have this idea in mind. This idea that this person is “a”, “b” and”c”. This idea that gives you a sense of comfort. You’ve given them an identity, an identity that you love (I mean, why else would you be friends with them?) Yet, week by week, things unfold and you see sides of them that melt down those ideas you first had about them. It’s hard to put into words. These moments are subtle, usually. They go almost unnoticed. The person probably doesn’t even know that you notice these things, to be completely honest. But these moments are so powerful. They’re powerful because they reveal to us the true character of these people we surround ourselves with.
On a positive note, these moments can be unbelievably incredible. They can show you how much someone cares about you. They can show you the way someone feels about you within seconds. A simple look, a tiny action…these tiny snapshots say so much. It’s hard for me to give examples without being too specific, so instead I’ll try to come up with some examples.
Example 1: You see someone text your friend, but they don’t know you saw. They then either all of a sudden rush your hangout or attempt to hide this message.
-It’s actions like this that say SO much about someone. I truly cannot even put into words how impactful these few seconds are. It’s like, in less than a minute, they’ve showed you how valuable you are to them.
Last week I read an article that changed my life. It’s an article by Mark Manson called “Fuck Yes or No”. Here’s a link – https://markmanson.net/fuck-yes. Basically, he lays down one of the most important laws you’ll ever hear. It’s the law of fuck yes or no. It states…
“The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.
The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” also states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, THEY must respond with a “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.”
I LOVE this law. I love it because it reminds me how valuable I am. Often times, we settle. We settle because why convince ourselves that it’s good enough, or that our expectations are too high, or maybe because we’re scared to be alone. We want attention. That’s just how we are as humans. We want people to tell us how important and loved we are. However, we need to believe this ourselves first. We need to know this. It needs to be engraved in us before we dive into new friendships, relationships or whatever else it is the kids do these days.
Think about it, why would you ever want to be with someone (friendship or relationship) if they don’t want to be with you equally as much?
Today, I was talking to a “friend” and I was explaining something I was SO passionate about to this person. They then said I was talking too fast and that it was giving them anxiety. In this moment I knew it clearly wasn’t a “fuck yes” from them. I realized, “holy shit..I’m spilling out my soul to this person and they’re not even excited”. Instantly it turned into a “fuck no” from me because I remembered my value. I am an incredibly smart, creative and passionate person and I have zero problem admitting it. I know there are so many people that would sit with me and talk about the things I love for hours, so why would I settle for someone that’s barely listening?
Also, my personality type is “ENTJ-A”. You can take a personality quiz here – https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test. ENTJ is the rarest personality, and to be honest I don’t doubt it. I’m pretty psychotic some may say. I just think I’m passionate, inspired and incredibly ambitious. Here are some tidbits that describe the ENTJ personality type:
“ENTJs are natural-born leaders. People with this personality type embody the gifts of charisma and confidence, and project authority in a way that draws crowds together behind a common goal.”
“Perhaps it is best that they make up only three percent of the population, lest they overwhelm the more timid and sensitive personality types that make up much of the rest of the world – but we have ENTJs to thank for many of the businesses and institutions we take for granted every day.”
“If there’s anything ENTJs love, it’s a good challenge, big or small, and they firmly believe that given enough time and resources, they can achieve any goal.”
“ENTJs are true powerhouses, and they cultivate an image of being larger than life – and often enough they are. They need to remember though, that their stature comes not just from their own actions, but from the actions of the team that props them up, and that it’s important to recognize the contributions, talents and needs, especially from an emotional perspective, of their support network.”
Basically, if people don’t recognize my immense creative power and innovative mind I honestly don’t have time for them. I don’t have time to spend with people who aren’t driven, compassionate and inspired. I also don’t have time to spend with people who don’t appreciate me.
So today, I realized I was done with people like that. I’m done with people who don’t recognize or appreciate the incredible person/friend I am. I’m done with people who show me (although they may not even know it) their true character or true intentions.
Remember how important you are. Remember how valuable you are. Remember how there are HUNDREDS of people who would be so inspired by you. There are HUNDREDS of people that would be so unbelievably happy to spend time with you. So, if your “friend” scrolls through Twitter when you’re pouring your heart out, stop talking and continue your conversation elsewhere. You can even start here. I would love to talk with you. I love you. So many people love you. There are people right now who are eager to even BEGIN to love you. So remember you are loved, and you are passionate for a reason. Share your ideas, the world wants to hear them.
PS – Next time your friend is pouring HER (or his) heart out to you, listen. Listen because people don’t share their passions with just anybody. If you don’t listen someone else will.