Checking in again…

So, I’m sitting getting a blowout once again. It’s Saturday, and I have tons of updates.

I love the concept of blogging during my blowout. It’s fun. It’s fresh. Well, at least that’s what I tell myself.

This week was sorta weird so far. Monday was Labor Day, which felt truly like a Sunday. I hung out by the pool for a little bit, got groceries and finished off with some studying.

Tuesday was a day full of homework and editing, since I have class MWF. Wednesday felt like Monday, and threw me off just a little bit. Wednesday I had class all day, came home and quickly ate dinner before heading to spin class. Sitting in a chair all day gets tiring, especially since I love staying active. Spin class Wednesday night truly reenergizes me. I come in tired, exhausted and sometimes a little stressed. However, I leave happy, full of life and excited. While I spin I feel my energy flowing and any blockages I previously had disappearing. It’s crazy what a workout can do.

I’ll be the first to admit, sometimes I don’t really want to go. I feel tired and would rather nap. Yet, I remind myself how GOOD and ALIVE I feel after, and I quickly change into my lululemons.

Thursday I had my hypnosis therapy, which I talked about in my vlog on DailyPolina called “partying with Kylie & anxiety therapy” if you want to hear more about it. In short, it’s life changing and you need to try it.

After that I came home, ate lunch and then headed to a meeting. The meeting was at Graffiti cafe, an 18 and over coffee place. It was my first time there and I fell in love. The theme is black, white and minimalistic. The latte with soy milk was great. The meeting was incredible. I drove home (in so much traffic wah), made dinner and did homework the rest of the night.

In my public speaking and debate class we had to give a 2-3 minute speech about the people that influenced us the most, and we had 20 minutes to write it.

This is what I came up with:

It’s inevitable that people play important roles in our lives. Sometimes we realize this immediately, and sometimes we only see those who changed us years after. I mean, I only now realize why that Cheetah Girls  concert meant so much to me in 2nd grade.

 The people that influenced me the most were my mom, dad and my incredible AP English teacher. Today I’ll tell you why my parents were so important, and well as how an English teacher saved my life.

We all hear the saying “Daddy’s Girl” when we’re younger, and this was definitely true for me growing up. My dad was my best friend, and I was closer with him than anyone else. He not only told me that sharing is caring, but he showed me that giving in general is so important.

He taught me generosity. His influence started off with me sharing Starbursts as a kid, but now has converted to helping others just because. I’ve learned to be supportive, give because it truly feels good, and share what I have with the world.

 My mom, however, impacted me equally.

Although I wasn’t very close with my mom when I was a child, as I grew up, she grew into my closest friend. She taught me compassion. Every time I had a problem, she would listen. She would listen, hug me, and most importantly give me heart felt advice. Of course she cared for her daughter, most moms do.

Yet, what highlighted her compassion was the way she treated others. She would listen to anyone that needed it with her eyes and heart wide open, with so much care for even people she just met. I saw this day by day and it rubbed off on me. I developed such compassion for my friends, family and even people I just met, which quickly became my own favorite trait.

Aside from my parents, one other person truly resonated with me.

I never thought a highschool teacher could impact me enough that I’d remember him years later. However, my AP English teacher, Mr. Quick, holds a special place in my heart. Throughout highschool, most teachers were cookie cutter. They played by the rules, followed the exact curriculum and made no true connection with their students.

Yet, Mr. Quick was different. He connected with us. He talked about real life issues, was honest about our performances and was candid with us, regardless of the subject. He told us that highschool was short, and that in a few years we’d forget all about it. He told us to pursue our true passions, because those were the things that would continue to matter, not what Susie wore to prom night. Overall, he painted the bigger picture, was raw as can be, and made me laugh more than I ever thought I would in an AP English class.

These three have been some of the few people that have affected my life in impactful ways.

Overall, my mom, dad and English teacher helped shape me into who I am today. Being generous, compassionate and unique were all lessons conveyed to me through the actions of these incredible people. Lessons that slowly formed my core beliefs and directly relate to how I came to believe others should be treated. Knowing that the most unexpected people can influence you, I now try to learn from everyone, because I never know who’s impact I’ll remember in 5 years.

PS – I was so nervous speaking but I didn’t faint and I’m still here.

Take a risk, do something that makes you uncomfortable and see how incredible it is on the other side. Why? Because you never know until you try.

XO,

PB

Hello and happy Tuesday!

Today I had a weird day and wanted to come on here and just talk it out with you guys. I mean, after all we did basically agree to be each other’s BFF’s.

My day started off great. I had my favorite coffee with coconut creamer, did my makeup flawlessly and got hundreds of kisses from my kitten, Coco. I then headed off to a hair appointment to lighten and tone my hair. I was super excited, because who doesn’t love getting their hair done?! I had a phone call I was expecting while I was there for an opportunity I was super excited about. I love doing new and fun things (duh) and am always looking for fresh starts and new occasions. Anyways, I was having the time of my life with my favorite hairdresser (we’ll call her K). Eating my Backyard Bowls “Berry Bowl” and singing along to Justin Bieber’s new song, “Cold Water”, was a Tuesday well spent in my book….at least so far. I was waiting for a phone call, anxious as usual (idk why I have a random fear of phone calls), and it finally came. Basically, the news wasn’t great and I didn’t get the opportunity I had been set on for a few weeks.

Instantly I felt so hurt. I felt out of control, defeated, almost. This was such a strange feeling for me. I always aim to be positive, full of love and gratitude for this Universe and everything/everyone around me. I remind myself daily that divine timing is always perfect, and that everything happens for a reason. I remind myself that I AM a conscious creator and my thoughts manifest into reality. Yet, I couldn’t accept that this wasn’t the right opportunity for me. My heart hurt and it felt as though a beautiful sunny day inside my mind had turned into a dark storm.

Feeling like you did everything you could and still not getting what you want sucks. We can all admit this. However, I came home, made myself dinner and then meditated. After meditation I felt much clearer. I reminded myself that I did everything I could, and that I am not as powerful as this Universe so I cannot control much more than myself. I reminded myself that I am strong and powerful…but I also reminded myself that I am peaceful. I realized that I held positive thoughts, did all that I could do and the rest wasn’t up to me. I realized that this opportunity wasn’t for me. It wasn’t right for me, my path and my life, as much as I believed it was.

This Universe is huge. It is so much greater than anything we can ever even fathom. We are specks of cosmic dust. Although we have the power to consciously create, the rest is up to something greater. My yoga teacher always says “waheguru”, which basically means “whatever”, or letting the Universe know that we let go of our worries and control because although we are powerful, we are not the only power in this cosmic realm.

The lesson here is: if you don’t get something/something doesn’t go as planned (even though you worked SO hard and did EVERYTHING you possibly could), don’t worry. Let go. Let go of the anger. Let go of the frustration. Let go of the feeling that you’re not good enough. You’re not only “good enough”, you’re a piece of this beautiful Universe, a sparkling piece of stardust. Don’t ever tell me that the beautiful piece of energy, love and compassion (that is YOU) is not good enough. Whatever it was that you wanted so bad clearly did not have a place in your life. It did not serve your highest good and was not there for a reason.

Our whole life is a series of choices. Every single choice (no matter how big or small) has brought me to this exact moment today. Same goes for you. Every single choice you have made has brought you here to this moment, reading this blog and this post. It’s magical when you think about it.

So, if your thoughts are positive and you’re focusing on what you want in life and something doesn’t work out, don’t worry. It didn’t belong there in the first place. I know I’ll look back at this moment in a few months and laugh. I’ll laugh at how upset I was and that I almost cried into my acai bowl. I’ll laugh because for a second I didn’t trust divine timing and my own power. I’ll laugh because life’s too short not to laugh, even if your strawberries are soaking in tears.

You’re incredible. You’re magical. You’re powerful. To be completely honest, your life is too precious to be upset. Don’t let one thing/person/place or moment turn into a spiral of sadness /doubt or negativity. Let go. The Earth will still spin and the Sun will still rise, and your life will continue full of happiness, opportunity and success.

Smile. Smile because the Sun loves you. Smile because the moon loves you. Fuck it, smile because I love you.

XO,

PB

So it’s been 10 days since I’ve last posted and you’re probably wondering where I’ve been. If you’re not wondering, well, you’ll find out anyway.

The last week and a half have been a little crazy for me. My parents came to visit me for the weekend, which was incredibly fun but also pretty tiring. My mom and I went to a spiritual workshop on Curanderismo, which was not only unbelievably incredible but also life changing. If you’re into this type of stuff, definitely look into it and see what’s available near you. I figured I had to share this because of the impact this single day had on my life.

Anyway, after our weekend adventures of spiritual workshops, outdoor activities, and lots of food, it was time to drop them off at LAX and get my life back in order. You know that feeling? That feeling when you’ve been running around non-stop and simply want a moment to sit? That’s how I felt. So, that Sunday night I relaxed and read a new book I recently picked up called “The Power of Love” by Osho. I recently discovered Osho, and let me tell you, I am already in love. He’s a philosopher, mystic, spiritual guru and an overall fascinating man. His thought, concepts and ideas about life, our consciousness and this universe are eye opening, inspiring and 100% awesome. I highly recommend you look him up on Amazon and read one of his books that speaks to you.

The past seven days I’ve been cleaning up my apartment, filming and running errands. I had to get so much in order that I barely had time to sleep, nevertheless blog. No worries, I’m back and better than before.

I’ve discovered a few things lately that I wanted to talk about. First being the importance of meditation. Every week I go to Kundalini Yoga (which is incredible btw) and it contains a 10 minute meditation at the end. This class makes me feel so alive, so blissful and so unbelievably happy I cannot even begin to put it into words. It makes me feel like, well, me. I feel as though at the core of our beings we are filled with unconditional love, compassion and well-being. Yet, due to so many distractions and conditionings in our society we begin to stray away from these core components. Hatred, competitiveness and brainwashing media is everywhere. These things are all distractions. We’re taught to be the best, be #1 and hate anyone who gets in the way of that. Whether that be in school, work or simply life status, these beliefs are often ingrained in us from a young age.

When we begin to step away from this programming we begin to realize who we truly are. Osho once said, “There is no greater ecstasy than knowing who you are”. This quote resonates with me on such a deep level. Being around the same types of people throughout our childhood almost forces us to be the same. Look around middle schools and even high schools. So many kids try to re-create the same look, style and even persona to fit in. Yet, we are all so different. Once we start to follow our hearts and do the things that make our souls light up, we see who we truly are. Throughout this past year I have become more of myself than I have ever been. I started doing what I wanted in all aspects of my life. I started following my heart and soul in what made me happy, and it has guided me to the most incredible people, places and opportunities.

So I guess where I was going with this was….don’t worry if you feel different. Thank gosh you do! I never felt like I fit in throughout my childhood. I felt as though I was special. I had something different to offer, and I sure as hell was not going to do something just because everyone else was doing it. Look where I am now. Creating my reality based on my beliefs, my passions and my inspirations. If you’re ever feeling like nothing others are doing around you resonates with you, smile. Smile because you’re different. Start creating. Start creating or doing what feels good and right to you. Look at some of the biggest businesses and their creators. SO many of these people started their own thing. They did so because the “normal” things to do weren’t interesting to them. Think about it. How can you start something different or be something different if all you do is follow the actions of those around you? You can’t. The only way to be something unique is to do something unique. So, whatever that is, whatever makes your heart feel full and your eyes glow, go do it.

I’ll see you soon, you passionate creator.

XO,

PB

I’ve been working on videos today and decided to take a break and read all of my blog comments. I cannot even begin to describe the gratitude, love and passion I have for you all. Every single comment warms my heart as you describe your situation, and tell me that in some way, shape or form you can relate to me.

It feels incredible knowing you’re not alone. Knowing that somewhere, somehow, others feel what you feel. Although we’re all so different, at the end of the day we’re human. We’re all reflections of one another, and this is something I find so unbelievably beautiful.

I used to get upset at others for not thinking the same way as me. I used to question people’s decisions and yell in my head, “WHY!!!” or “How does she/he think this is okay?”. Yet, taking a step back and realizing that at the core we are all the same has allowed me to be accepting. It’s allowed me to be more compassionate. We’re all put here on Earth with lessons to learn and lives to be created. We’re all born at different times, in different places and with different planetary alignments. So, of course, what is natural to me may seem unfathomable to somebody else and vise versa.

Yet, reading each and every comment from you guys has allowed me to realize, on a much deeper level, that many of us have similar ideas, concepts and notions. We have these thoughts, these passions and these ambitions that we somehow can all relate to. I have found that this, this common eagerness, this common enthusiasm…this life that we all share, is something SO profoundly alluring and fascinating, yet it is also something we can experience together.

So thank you for your comment. Thank you for sharing a piece of yourself with me. I appreciate it more than you can imagine. I know how hard it is to put yourself out there. I know how difficult it is to share your deepest thoughts, imaginations and dreams… However, I want you to know that I care. I truly, from the bottom of my heart, care about you. I care about what you have to say. I simply care because YOU care. You care enough about me to keep up with my life (whether that be through my videos, vlogs, or social posts), so I give you that same love in return.

If you ever have an idea, a concept or even a story you’d like to share I want you to know that I not only welcome you to do so, but I ENCOURAGE you to type that comment.

Lastly, I want you to love yourself. I mean, that’ll make two of us. 🙂

XO,

PB

Hey guys,

It’s Sunday night. Well, honestly, it’s more like Monday morning. I had so many thoughts today, so many ideas and realizations, so many that the only way I could share them was through my screen.

Do you ever realize certain people aren’t who you think they are? You have this idea in mind. This idea that this person is “a”, “b” and”c”. This idea that gives you a sense of comfort. You’ve given them an identity, an identity that you love (I mean, why else would you be friends with them?) Yet, week by week, things unfold and you see sides of them that melt down those ideas you first had about them. It’s hard to put into words. These moments are subtle, usually. They go almost unnoticed. The person probably doesn’t even know that you notice these things, to be completely honest. But these moments are so powerful. They’re powerful because they reveal to us the true character of these people we surround ourselves with.

On a positive note, these moments can be unbelievably incredible. They can show you how much someone cares about you. They can show you the way someone feels about you within seconds. A simple look, a tiny action…these tiny snapshots say so much. It’s hard for me to give examples without being too specific, so instead I’ll try to come up with some examples.

Example 1: You see someone text your friend, but they don’t know you saw. They then either all of a sudden rush your hangout or attempt to hide this message.

-It’s actions like this that say SO much about someone. I truly cannot even put into words how impactful these few seconds are. It’s like, in less than a minute, they’ve showed you how valuable you are to them.

Last week I read an article that changed my life. It’s an article by Mark Manson called “Fuck Yes or No”. Here’s a link – https://markmanson.net/fuck-yes. Basically, he lays down one of the most important laws you’ll ever hear. It’s the law of fuck yes or no. It states…

“The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.

The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” also states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, THEY must respond with a “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.”

I LOVE this law. I love it because it reminds me how valuable I am. Often times, we settle. We settle because why convince ourselves that it’s good enough, or that our expectations are too high, or maybe because we’re scared to be alone. We want attention. That’s just how we are as humans. We want people to tell us how important and loved we are. However, we need to believe this ourselves first. We need to know this. It needs to be engraved in us before we dive into new friendships, relationships or whatever else it is the kids do these days.

Think about it, why would you ever want to be with someone (friendship or relationship) if they don’t want to be with you equally as much?

Today, I was talking to a “friend” and I was explaining something I was SO passionate about to this person. They then said I was talking too fast and that it was giving them anxiety. In this moment I knew it clearly wasn’t a “fuck yes” from them. I realized, “holy shit..I’m spilling out my soul to this person and they’re not even excited”. Instantly it turned into a “fuck no” from me because I remembered my value. I am an incredibly smart, creative and passionate person and I have zero problem admitting it. I know there are so many people that would sit with me and talk about the things I love for hours, so why would I settle for someone that’s barely listening?

Also, my personality type is “ENTJ-A”. You can take a personality quiz here – https://www.16personalities.com/free-personality-test. ENTJ is the rarest personality, and to be honest I don’t doubt it. I’m pretty psychotic some may say. I just think I’m passionate, inspired and incredibly ambitious. Here are some tidbits that describe the ENTJ personality type:

“ENTJs are natural-born leaders. People with this personality type embody the gifts of charisma and confidence, and project authority in a way that draws crowds together behind a common goal.”

“Perhaps it is best that they make up only three percent of the population, lest they overwhelm the more timid and sensitive personality types that make up much of the rest of the world – but we have ENTJs to thank for many of the businesses and institutions we take for granted every day.”

“If there’s anything ENTJs love, it’s a good challenge, big or small, and they firmly believe that given enough time and resources, they can achieve any goal.”

“ENTJs are true powerhouses, and they cultivate an image of being larger than life – and often enough they are. They need to remember though, that their stature comes not just from their own actions, but from the actions of the team that props them up, and that it’s important to recognize the contributions, talents and needs, especially from an emotional perspective, of their support network.”

Basically, if people don’t recognize my immense creative power and innovative mind I honestly don’t have time for them. I don’t have time to spend with people who aren’t driven, compassionate and inspired. I also don’t have time to spend with people who don’t appreciate me.

So today, I realized I was done with people like that. I’m done with people who don’t recognize or appreciate the incredible person/friend I am. I’m done with people who show me (although they may not even know it) their true character or true intentions.

Remember how important you are. Remember how valuable you are. Remember how there are HUNDREDS of people who would be so inspired by you. There are HUNDREDS of people that would be so unbelievably happy to spend time with you. So, if your “friend” scrolls through Twitter when you’re pouring your heart out, stop talking and continue your conversation elsewhere. You can even start here. I would love to talk with you. I love you. So many people love you. There are people right now who are eager to even BEGIN to love you. So remember you are loved, and you are passionate for a reason. Share your ideas, the world wants to hear them.

PS – Next time your friend is pouring HER (or his) heart out to you, listen. Listen because people don’t share their passions with just anybody. If you don’t listen someone else will.

XO,

PB

Why hello there…

Okay, that came out a little creepier than expected. Anyways, hi. It’s Saturday afternoon (evening, I guess?), and I thought I’d tell you about my day so far. You know those days that you plan ahead for, making sure each detail is just right down to the very core? Well, I’m pretty psychotic and therefore I plan each day like this. I mean, I leave room for fun~ or spontaneous activity~, but I like to make sure certain goals are accomplished!

Knowing I’m a planner you can probably assume I planned the perfect Saturday (ooh girl I did). Yet, my plans crumbled so quickly I couldn’t even TRY to rebuild them. You’re probably wondering what happened. Well, that time of the month happened.

I was laying in bed under layers of warm blankets, a chunk of amethyst under my pillow and my little nugget Coco tucked under right next to me. Out of nowhere I wake up in 5 AM in UNBEARABLE pain feeling hurt and confused. Then, my friends, I realized…..I realized it was that beautiful red time again. If you’ve watched my vlogging channel, DailyPolina, you’ve probably heard me talk about my awful cramps. If not, here’s a quick rundown. Basically, my mom, and her mom, and her mom’s mom (why didn’t I just say grandma?) have all had EXCRUCIATING cramps their entire lives. Guess who got that miraculous gift passed down to them? Yep, good ol’ Pbbunny.

Each and every month the day I get my period is almost a holiday in my planner. I say this because I end up in so much pain that I can’t do anything that day but lie in bed planning the next few days (aka editing them due to this “day off”). You’re probably thinking, “Girl, get you some Midol!”, and yes, I have Midol. In fact, I take six-eight that first day when Mother Nature strikes. (PS – it is  safe I looked it up homegirl is not overdosing) Now you can see why today was canceled in my book. 7:15 AM spin class I had booked? Not today! Green smoothie run at 8:30? LOL, nope again! Brunch at 12? Pft…you thought.

All my plans went out the window and I was stuck in my bed. I hate not being busy. It makes me uncomfortable. It’s because I truly love “doing”. I love writing, I love filming, I love spinning, I love editing, I love learning new things! I feel as though I have so much passion, so much inspiration, and so much creativity to share that if I waste two hours watching The Bachelorette I have done something wrong. Well, at least I used to. Now I know the importance of having a day “off”. Having a  day to relax your mind, watch your favorite show (or Youtube channel, wink wink) is healthy. Personally, on days like these I love to watch Ted Talks, eat Ben & Jerries (vegan, of course) and cuddle with my kitten, Coco. These days let me recharge my body, reinspire my soul, and reconnect with my true self.

So the next time your day doesn’t go as planned take it as a gift. Take it as a day where you can do things for yourself. Whether this be online shopping, reading your favorite book, journaling, meditating, or simply watching Youtube with your fellow animal, allow yourself to have time to catch up with you.

Because at the end of the day, you’re all you’ve got.

Cheers to Saturdays in bed.

XO,

PB

Hi guys,

It’s 11:06 on a Sunday night, otherwise known as the perfect time to spill the tea of the week. Today I had an incredible #sundayfunday (yes I hate myself for using the hashtag ). I love Sundays. I love sleeping in (even if it’s only until 9 because I can’t sleep any longer), brewing a fresh cup of coffee, and lounging in comfy sweatpants and fuzzy socks that are a liiiiitttle too childish for me. I love reflecting on my week, planning out the next wonderful seven days and cuddling with my kitten Coco (more like, the love of my life). Well, that’s usually how my Sunday’s go.

Today, I did almost the complete opposite. I woke up at 8 AM, went for a blowout at DryBar at 9 (my favorite little treat), spent the day on a rooftop in Beverly Hills, and hung out with a pole dancer (who made me a delicious cup of tea btw). I know what you’re thinking….. You’re wondering what kind of tea I had, right? It was green tea with a ~hint~ of lemon. That was an incredible time, but let me expand on the ~juicy~ details of my day.

Let’s start with the blowout. I think I’m going to start rating my blowout each time I tell you guys about them (just for shits & giggles c’mon guys have some fun). Today’s was definitely a 9/10. I always ask for “…a straight look with a lot of body and volume”, aka don’t CURL my hair but please make me look like I just walked off of a Victoria’s Secret runway. Sometimes they still make it too curly, and when my hair’s THAT curly, trust me, I look psychotic. Sometimes they leave it too flat, and also leave me wondering what that hour of round brush drying even did to my hair. Sometimes, however, they get it just right. They give me gorgeous volume, bouncy body, and gloss for days. Today I got a little bit of volume, some body, and a gorgeous gloss (hence why it’s a 9/10).

Moving on, my friend & I…(ps I think I’m going to keep names anonymous on here because sometimes my life gets dramatic and I don’t need to be the one spilling the tea, girl)…anyway, where was I? Oh, my friend & I went to a rooftop event at the above 60 hotel in Beverly Hills. Ooh girl, I lived for the aesthetic of that place. We had an incredible brunch, great beverages, and a view of the West Hollywood hills that never gets old. We were there for a while, yet it felt like it flew by. Don’t you love those moments? Those moments when you’re so present…you’re so THERE, so in the “now” that nothing else matters and all you want to do is smile? Well, these hours were some of those moments.

Later, we hangout with my friend’s friend (I know, I hate this expression too but I’m not even lying). My friend, let’s call him O…(if you know me you probably know who this is but…it was worth a try right?)…told me about his school friend and showed me her Snapchat and I instantly thought she was hilarious and incredibly interesting. So, what did we do? We called her and told her we were coming over. She agreed, and we honestly had a fun time. She does pole fitness, which I find so fascinating, and like most people, I was excited to see her moves! She was talented, and I felt inspired to try. 5 minutes later my arms hurt, I basically fell off, and gained an appreciation for pole fitness that I’ve never had before.

So, my fellow friends, that was my little Sunday. Tell me what your ideal Sunday is, I mean I’m going to need some inspiration for next week 😉

XO,

PB